Comments on: Sharing toys with siblings: How to stop the arguments https://imperfectfamilies.com/10-sharing-rules-every-sibling-know/ Parent Coach for Imperfect Families Mon, 02 Jul 2018 20:03:15 +0000 hourly 1 By: SIBLING: THE ONE TO CHERISH? | GROWING UP WITH SIBLINGS- THE TRANQUIL BLOKE https://imperfectfamilies.com/10-sharing-rules-every-sibling-know/#comment-26649 Sun, 31 Dec 2017 09:32:25 +0000 https://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=7176#comment-26649 […] From sharing the Diwali gifts to sharing the meal at a restaurant. The journey of having ay sibling is summed up with a partnership in every stuff. From sharing the same bedroom to keeping a check on each other the siblings helps in sharing the problems. Numerous times of having disagreements with each other. Yet, they help us by having a fifty percent share in each thing. […]

]]> By: Rose https://imperfectfamilies.com/10-sharing-rules-every-sibling-know/#comment-24509 Sat, 11 Mar 2017 16:50:15 +0000 https://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=7176#comment-24509 In reply to Sarah Smith.

Thanks for your comment on the above, It’s good to read other parents struggling with these kind of things as well.

]]> By: Sarah Smith https://imperfectfamilies.com/10-sharing-rules-every-sibling-know/#comment-23569 Tue, 22 Nov 2016 21:09:50 +0000 https://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=7176#comment-23569 So refreshing to read someone else talking about turn taking in the context of sharing.
We don’t (yet) have problems at home with my 6 and 3 year old as one has a very short attention span and the other is a very amicable personality (yet to see what the new youngest, currently 12wks old, will have to say on such things).
But we do struggle when out in public at playcafes (do you have those? In UK, basically a no shoes, no pushchairs, carpeted coffee-shop and cafe set up for under 5s and particularly babies/toddlers to play with weaning foods on menu too) where the issue is usually with other parents.
It’s all well meant, but the misconception about what sharing is seems to be that when one child approaches another and tries to take a toy it results in both parents screeching embarrassingly about “share”!
As the child with the toy is usually mine, and I am the kind of parent to either play with or keep an eye on my child (as opposed to using the facility as free babysitting and hiding right up the other end with a cuppa) I usually end up negotiating that the other child either joins in or we will bring them the toy as soon as she has finished her turn.
Works well when other parent is one of those using Mums like me to babysit, but not always when other parent is there. Sometimes they perceive my child as being a bad sharer for not giving it up instantly on request, or sometimes they know their child wants what everyone else has and is visibly harassed and trying to be one step of their child every time.
It’s easier when mine is the child after a toy, as I can (loudly) remind them that we have to take turns and wait patiently till the child has finished, plus as above my 3yo is easily pleased.
I have had to point out to other parents that if I had asked to borrow the free newspaper they were still reading we would both expect them to read calmly to the end without being rushed and then to hand it over, which was instantly understood.
I realise that all of us are simply stumbling along trying to parent the best we can, and very worried about how we and our children seem to others. I always hope these interactions give us both a bit of strength and experience for similar encounters.
But I did appreciate the ideas of a long turn, special toys, or saying no they don’t want to share. I had considered these things and felt they were valid but wasn’t sure how well they would go down amongst the parents I know. Seeing someone has thought the same is a real blessing, I was at a lost on how to prevent my girls’ self esteem being flattened unfairly, but now I will think more on how to allow this when with other families.
Thankyou,
Sarah, Bristol, UK

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