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He was ok last night, but he is tired and cranky anyway in the morning (boiling here this am too)
As anticipated he first says ‘I don’t feel well’, which he always says if he wants to get out of something

He suffers from performance anxiety, but we have discussed this and I know is important that he pushes himself through this in a safe environment so it does not end up crippling him. (I had it too… bizarrely drama helped cure me)

But this morning he was just rude, stubborn, and flat out refused to go.
Because he does this EVERY time he wants to get out of doing something and because I was anticipating it I went from 0-100 in 3 seconds.
Just have no clue how to manage him through scenarios when he flat out refuses to do something.
(Also he times it so his refusal is 10 mins before we are due to leave!)

I am a single parent and his dad has chosen no contact, so I struggle being mum and dad.
Also worry no-one is teaching him how to be a strong responsible man.

We’ve had spats like this before and it always ends the same way. We always apologise and hug and make up but I am always torn up about it. Worry continually about ‘damaging’ him with a mean word (argh.. I actually told him not to be such a baby and a coward! Argh!! What was I thinking??)

I don’t shout at him very often at all (he is over sensitive to anything he perceives as criticism), but when I do lose it I lose it HUGE!!

I always apologise after too. I don’t say ‘I’ll never lose it again’ because that would be a lie, but I apologise and eventually he will also calm down and apologise for his behaviour/part in the row, and we move on after relieved hugs.
We are incredibly close and affectionate.
He is absolutely adorable as long as he gets to do what he wants and is not made to do anything he does not want to… that worries me.
How can I teach him that life is not all about fun and what you want to do???
How will he cope at work if he has a boss he doesn’t like or tasks he does not like???

He locked himself in the bathroom and just refused to come out (‘Screw you’ yelled they the door when I calmly told him I’d called church (I had to phone church to let them know he would not be there)

He is now back in bed asleep andI am leaving him there to come down when he wakes up! No point waking him up to say sorry.

But how can I teach him to do things he does not necessarily want to in life?
I can’t keep giving him free passes, just reinforces the bad behaviour… but what can you do with a teen who simply says ‘No, I’m not going!’???

It is not uncommon for children, and adults to feel disappointed. It took me years of curious disappointment to finally realize Christmas isn’t about getting what you want. It’s about giving what you want to give.

You could help your child to realize this sooner than later; you could give a gift card (they will see how far $50 will go and perhaps save for a time to purchase more expensive items);

You could ignore the comment and write it off as a “thing” children say to their parents to guilt them into buying big-ticket items;

You could buy, wrap, and display items under the Christmas tree and take them to a homeless shelter Christmas Eve and explain your reasoning as follows: I new you’d be disappointed with what I bought for you this year, so we’re giving them to children who will truly appreciate them. Christmas is a time of joy and celebration. Let’s go make that happen.

Good luck and Godspeed​.

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I do number 3 too much. Thank you so much for making me see that.