Comments on: The Absolute Best Way to Respond when Your Child’s Acting Out https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/ Parent Coach for Imperfect Families Mon, 03 Sep 2018 14:26:28 +0000 hourly 1 By: Helping Kids Live a Healthy Lifestyle - Wonders Counseling Services, LLC https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/#comment-26977 Mon, 03 Sep 2018 14:26:28 +0000 http://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=1339#comment-26977 […] need to beg for more attention, response or emotion,” says Parenting Coach and Therapist, Nicole Schwarz, LMFT. Attachment based schools of thought teach that children need from the very beginning to be seen, […]

]]> By: 7 THINGS A PARENT OF AN INTENSE CHILD WANTS YOU TO KNOW - Child, Youth, & Families Liaison https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/#comment-26387 Thu, 07 Sep 2017 19:48:28 +0000 http://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=1339#comment-26387 […] days, but I’m in this for the long haul. I’m committed to providing the resources, support, connection, encouragement and love that my child needs. My frustrated tears and moments of dark desperation do […]

]]> By: Jeannine https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/#comment-23759 Wed, 04 Jan 2017 13:55:01 +0000 http://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=1339#comment-23759 This is so great. My second of four was 4 years old… she used to just scream and cry and shake in a tantrum. What worked best was for me to just sit next to her in the same room about 5 feet away and wait it out. I could not touch her… but sit near her… i did not even look her in the eye. Just sat there. It took what seemed like forever – maybe 15 minutes. I would gently say things like… “Mommy is here for you when you are ready.” “Mommy wants to talk to you.” “Mommy loves you.” She eventually calmed down and ran into my arms. It was a breakthrough. From that point on… she never was THAT angry / upset again.

I think she just needed time to calm down knowing I wasn’t leaving her bc she was so angry. It really made sense and strengthened our connection exponentially.

When my kids get angry and behave badly…I really try to put myself in their shoes and look at them like little adults…. and change their situation into one that I may encounter. E.g. My co-worker didn’t grab my doll away, but she did call my client without me knowing and that made me angry. How did I feel? I was scared and angry and maybe even sent an email bomb her way. Now I see how my toddler feels. It just makes sense.

]]> By: Kids Dvd Plaza Blog https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/#comment-22621 Sat, 16 Jul 2016 06:52:59 +0000 http://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=1339#comment-22621 You Will Feel Your Absolute Best

[…] sappointment that I said no to something he wanted. When he got past it he was f […]

]]> By: Nicole Schwarz https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/#comment-20868 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 14:46:03 +0000 http://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=1339#comment-20868 In reply to Maria.

Hello! Thanks for sharing. There are a lot of ways to connect with our kids that don’t involve hugging. I can’t give specific advice here, but I’d suggest 2 things to try:
1. Connect with her when she is calm. This might mean putting a fun note in her lunch box, telling a joke, or reading a book together. I know depression makes it hard to find the good in life sometimes, so here are some simple connection tips.
2. I sounds like she doesn’t want hugs in the heat of the moment. And that’s ok. Instead, just try being present with her. Empathize with her big feelings and let her know that you’re there when she needs you.
You will get through this!!

]]> By: Maria https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/#comment-20833 Sun, 03 Apr 2016 10:26:20 +0000 http://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=1339#comment-20833 My youngest daughter (I have two)bus five and currently acting out a lot. I feel like I have lost all control. When I try to hug and make her feel comforted in her anger and big feelings, she responds by screaming at the top of her lungs and hitting me. Her sister (7) went through this phase too and is coming out of it now, but I just can’t cope with another two years of this! It’s heartbreaking and my oldest miss out on fun stuff as my youngest is simply refusing to get dressed or do as she’s told. I am a single parent but they spend half their time with their dad so consistency is difficult. I don’t drive, and I suffer from depression. Feel like just giving up!

]]> By: Nicole Schwarz https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/#comment-20149 Wed, 10 Feb 2016 01:33:06 +0000 http://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=1339#comment-20149 In reply to Amanda.

It can be so difficult to stay patient, especially when the situation seems so minor. Keep at it, though, what a great gift to give your baby! 🙂

]]> By: Amanda https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/#comment-20145 Tue, 09 Feb 2016 19:28:31 +0000 http://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=1339#comment-20145 Great advice! Connection is really one of your biggest tools as a parent. I have a one year old who has just started the toddler tantrums. Finding patience to connect with her through these tantrums is a challenge for me.

]]> By: Best of 2015: Blog Entries | Remind Me Who I Am https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/#comment-19263 Tue, 29 Dec 2015 21:22:32 +0000 http://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=1339#comment-19263 […] Imperfect Families I read The Absolute Best Way to Respond when Your Child’s Acting Out. I am trying to learn more about positive parenting and have found that most of the principles are […]

]]> By: Angela Brumfield https://imperfectfamilies.com/tired-of-your-kids-acting-out-focus-on-connection/#comment-18979 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 22:01:57 +0000 http://imperfectfamilies.com/?p=1339#comment-18979 So well put. We can compassionately support our children without being passive parents. Just as we would listen to a friend who came to us in crisis, we can listen to our children when they are struggling.

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