Great idea for the visual! I’ll definitely have to whip something up. I thought about that a long time ago, but wasn’t sure she would understand. She definitely should now. For independence… oh my is she ever so independent! She likes to make her own food, pack her snack, pick out her clothes, even wash baby bottles! It’s not all the time, but I let her if she wants to. Never force her unless its one of her daily responsibilities along with her siblings. Maybe she needs more attention, kind of going along with making more connection during the day.
Thanks, Nicole!

Hi! Thanks for commenting. Don’t underestimate the last step. This is where the learning happens.

So, if bedtime is a struggle, you’d set the expectations ahead of time, maybe create a visual schedule for her that includes all of the “extras” (cup of water, 5 hugs, etc.). When it’s time for bed, start with empathy, “I know you’d love for mommy to stay with you tonight.” Then, you may need to set a firm limit: “Good night, honey, I’ll be back to check on you in 5 minutes. Which stuffed animal are you going to cuddle with after I leave?” It sounds like she’s having difficulty separating from you at times, so making sure you have a lot of times for connection built into the day and the bedtime routine would be important.

As far as timeouts go, it sounds like she is seeking some power or control. I’d encourage you to seek ways to help her feel powerful in her daily decisions – depending on her age – this might mean picking out her own bowl for breakfast or it might mean allowing her to pour her own milk. Little steps toward independence often lead to less resistance when being told what to do at other times during the day.

Nicole