Finding the Positive in Your Parenting (even if you’re discouraged)

 

You yell too much.

You worry constantly.

You want everyone to sleep in their own bed, but you’re just too tired to fight it.

When it comes to making changes to your parenting, it’s not hard to find things that need work.

But,  there are tons of things that don’t need fixing at all!

Your lopsided pancakes. The silly songs that get your kids out of a bad mood. How you’re always at the bus stop 10 minutes early, just in case.

Your kids may never mention or acknowledge that these things matter, but these are the things that make you special! These are the things that set you aside from any other parent out there.

It’s what makes you, You.

Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel in every aspect of your life, look for your “keeps” and “grows.”

What are your “Keeps?”

Looking over the past year, what things make you smile? The things you are proud of, your accomplishments, goals you achieved, choices you made for the good of yourself, your kids, your marriage or your family?

This is not about perfection.  It’s about identifying the things you want to continue doing. Even if you haven’t mastered them, these are the things you want to keep striving for, goals you’d like to achieve or accomplish.

Some examples:

• Started using time-in instead of time-out
• Had a monthly date night with my hubby
• Greeted my kids with a smile (most) mornings
• Helped with homework, but wasn’t overbearing
• Read a lot of books with my toddler
• Made more meals at home

What are your “Grows?”

This seems to be where we focus most. I’m sure you can list a million ways you’d like to grow, things you’d like to do differently, things you’d like to accomplish.

Instead of creating a long list of impossible demands for yourself, pick one or two areas you’d like to “grow” this year. Write a very specific goal, including any steps you need to take to make it happen.

Some examples:

• Clear kitchen counter every night before bed
• Kiss husband when he comes home from work
• Put phone away from 5 – 7 pm every night
• Plan family game night one night per month
• Stop myself when I start lecturing my kids
• Say one positive thing about each child every day

Embracing who You are.

Write down your list of keeps and grows and refer to it often. When life gets crazy and everyone seems to be a little bit “off” take a look at the lists and see what areas may be lacking.

Don’t get too caught up in the “grows” – especially if you’re feeling extra stressed trying to accomplish them!

Focus on the positive first. Find the things that make you, You; the things that make your kids smile; the things that make you feel fulfilled.

These are the things your kids will remember.

Care to Share?

I’d love to hear what you’re “keeping” this year.  Share your successes!

Of course, sharing our “grows” is also an important way to stay accountable.  Let’s hear your plans for the year ahead!