The call from the school came out of the blue. Your child pushed someone at recess. The other kid went to the nurse. Your child went to the principal's office. Furious, you scan through a list of possible consequences. Apparently, everything you've tried to teach about kindness was useless. Or, was it? What to do when your kids know … [Read more...]
Sharing toys with siblings: How to stop the arguments
Sharing does not come naturally to some kids...which means you're constantly dealing with arguments about "who's turn it is" and "who had it first." Rather than forcing them to give up their favorite toy or engaging in a power struggle, use these 10 "sharing rules" to help your kids practice sharing toys with siblings. “I feel like I need two … [Read more...]
Using Empathy to Avoid a Power Struggle
The bus drove away before we could get to the stop. Sighing, I turn to my daughter, “I guess I’m driving you to school today.” Panic filled her eyes. “No way. It’s embarrassing to be a car-rider.” Confused, I brushed aside her remarks. “It’s not embarrassing. Come on, let’s go.” “I’m not going to school … [Read more...]
5 Parenting Beliefs that Interfere with Effective Discipline
You've read the parenting books. You've tried the latest discipline strategies. And...unfortunately, you're still dealing with the same old thing. Before you give up completely, let's take a look at a silent partner in your parenting: Your thoughts. Everyone carries around an unspoken understanding of why kids act the way they do. … [Read more...]
25 things that impact your child’s behavior (and have nothing to do with your parenting)
Slow down parents...before you look for the perfect consequence for your child's behavior, check this list. There are lots of things that cause kids to act the way they do. And, a lot of these things have nothing to do with your parenting skills. Meeting these needs will help you manage their behavior. Win-win. Years ago, I had the privilege … [Read more...]
When you keep yelling at your kids (but really want to stop)
"Get in bed! NOW!" you scream at the top of your lungs. Any intention of staying calm went right out the window. Along with any amount of patience or rational thinking. Your kids scramble into their beds and you finally have a chance to breathe. It doesn't take long for the guilt to sink in..."There I go again! Yelling! Why can't I just hold … [Read more...]
Helping Your Older Child Cope When Their Sibling Becomes Mobile
You've read the books. You bought the "I'm a big brother" t-shirt. You have a basket of fun activities for him to do while you're nursing. You're prepared to smooth the transition from singleton to sibling once you arrive home from the hospital. But, a few weeks in, you feel confused. Didn't the books say this was going to be a difficult … [Read more...]
What to do when your kids refuse to be comforted
The scene plays out in slow motion. You watch helplessly as your daughter trips on a laundry basket and launches her freshly-glued art creation across the room. Hours of hard work lay scattered on the floor. She is devastated. Coming to the rescue you attempt to scoop her into a big supportive hug. "Get away from me!" she … [Read more...]
A simple phrase to eliminate tattling.
"Mom! Sam won't turn off the water in the bathroom!" "Mom! Sarah took my iPod without asking...and now she won't give it back!" "Mom, Mom, MOM!" Like nails on a chalkboard, most parents have come to dread the sound of a child tattling. It seems so needy, so desperate. Why can't they just work it out on their own? Because it is. And … [Read more...]
What anxious and angry kids need to know about their brain
"Settle down," you say above the screaming. It sounds more like a threat than a caring suggestion. "I don't know how!" your child jeers back. You shake your head, sighing. How many times do you need to remind her to take a deep breath when she's upset? Obviously, something's missing here. Big Feelings. Big Confusion. Big feelings like … [Read more...]