Parents hear a lot about finding “teachable moments” in their day. Opportunities to teach their kids right from wrong or to point out a valuable lesson.
Unfortunately, finding teachable moments doesn’t always come naturally. Most parents clump their family’s values and important lessons into lengthy lectures given at the height of anger or frustration.
If you struggle to find teachable moments – or need a way to teach without lecturing – don’t panic.
Here’s a tip that might help you add more teachable moments into your day:
Explain Your Why.
Look at these examples:
“Can I go to Jared’s house?”
“Can I play this video game?”
“Can I have another cookie?”
Instead of giving a quick and final “NO,” take a second to explain your “why”:
“No, Jared’s parents are at work, a parent needs to be home when you play at his house. Supervision is important for your safety and to help you make good choices.”
“No, that video game is rated M. We believe that the violence is too graphic. Your brain is still growing. We want to put good images in there!”
“No, in our family we only eat one cookie after dinner. Fruits and vegetables give you more energy to run and play!”
Here are some tips to make the most of this teachable moment:
- Keep it simple. No big lectures. Focus on the big value or lesson you’re trying to teach and explain it one or two sentences, using kid-friendly words.
- Use it sparingly. Your kids are going to tune you out if everything becomes a “lesson.” Keep the information fresh and relevant by teaching when it makes sense.
- Invite conversation. Especially about the big, important topics. Even if your child disagrees with you (and you disagree with them), you can model how to have a respectful disagreement!
Shouldn’t “no mean no?”
Of course! Not everything is a teachable moment. There will be times when you will set a firm limit.
But, remember, you’re not trying to persuade your kids to agree with you or defend your position, your goal is to teach.
If you find yourself being strictly focused on “no means no” try, “no means no and here’s what I want you to learn.”
Listen for your “no’s” throughout the day. Is there a bigger lesson there? Can you teach it in a sentence or two?
Don’t miss these teachable moments!
Comments have been turned off to retain the privacy of all families. If you have a question or comment on the topic, you're always welcome to contact me.