I’m a mom. I often feel lonely. I know I’m not alone.
Why is it so hard for moms to be vulnerable about their parenting struggles?
Because it shows an internal flaw? Something that makes us less worthy to be a mom?
Why are we so insecure about our own parenting that we worry about what other parents think?
Would it really be so bad to admit that we don’t have it all together?
Is it easier to show our friends a messy kitchen than to admit that we yelled at our kids 30 minutes before they arrived?
As if it is obtainable.
I mean, think about it.
We are sharing our lives with little humans. These little guys have their own thoughts and ideas about what they want to do and who they want to be.
Some of us have more than one little human! Oh my! Now, we have more than one personality running around.
And then there is life. Marriage. Bills. Work. In-laws. Illness. Unexpected twists and turns that impact us as people – let alone parents.
We could back up even farther and look at our own family, the family we grew up in. With all of their unique qualities and challenges.
All of these things – and more – impact us on a daily basis.
And yet, we hold ourselves to a standard of unreachable heights. Parenting Perfection.
When we don’t reach it. We hide. We tear ourselves down. We judge others. We scan our Pinterest feed with envy and self-loathing.
Wishing for what someone else has.
The problem is…no one else has it!
All of those other parents struggle too. Maybe not in the same way, but they all struggle. Behind the “perfect” exterior, there are hurts and scars from this parenting journey.
The mom at Target. Her father is in the hospital. They haven’t spoken in 20 years.
The mom on the sidelines. Her husband just served divorce papers.
The mom at the PTA meeting. Her son was just caught cheating.
The mom at the park. Her daughter is being assessed for autism.
We can all smile at each other. Do our hair and makeup. And wave.
But until we start to be vulnerable, we will never find true community. We will never be able to fully support each other through the tough times of parenthood.
Of course, to be vulnerable, we need to feel safe.
So, first, we need to find a safe place to share. No judgment. No sideways glances and smirks. Just kind words and genuine support.
Will you find that here? I hope so.
If not, I encourage you to seek it out or start something on your own (make sure to tell us about it!). Maybe it’s a Bible study, MOPS, a playgroup in your community. Maybe it’s just finally being real with another mom in your life. Showing your scars and asking for support.
Who knows. Maybe she’s feeling lonely too.
Join our online community!
“The Neighborhood” is a safe, nonjudgmental place for you to ask your parenting questions and get support from other amzaing parents. Join now and get the first two weeks free!