"Mom! Sam won't turn off the water in the bathroom!" "Mom! Sarah took my iPod without asking...and now she won't give it back!" "Mom, Mom, MOM!" Like nails on a chalkboard, most parents have come to dread the sound of a child tattling. It seems so needy, so desperate. Why can't they just work it out on their own? Because it is. And … [Read more...]
What anxious and angry kids need to know about their brain
"Settle down," you say above the screaming. It sounds more like a threat than a caring suggestion. "I don't know how!" your child jeers back. You shake your head, sighing. How many times do you need to remind her to take a deep breath when she's upset? Obviously, something's missing here. Big Feelings. Big Confusion. Big feelings like … [Read more...]
The real reason you give your kids so many reminders.
Hello, I'm Nicole and I'm a repeater. Here's a classic example... It's a typical hectic Monday morning. Everyone is moving slow. I glance at the clock and compare the time to the number of things still left to accomplish. Then it begins. The repeating. "Don't forget your homework." "Did you put your homework in your bag?" "Is your … [Read more...]
Aggressive Kids: Positive Discipline for Amazing Results
Learn how shame impacts the behavior of aggressive kids. These positive parenting tips will help you get to the root of the problem and begin to free your child from negative self-talk, anger, and acting out. The meticulously created Lego creation smashes against the wall and shatters into a hundred pieces. "That's enough!" You yell, … [Read more...]
The most important first step in any “how to” parenting post
A few weeks ago I broke the garbage disposal. On a whim, I checked YouTube. Yep, there was a video titled, "How to fix your garbage disposal." I followed the steps and it was working again in no time. As parents, we are guilty of googling and searching YouTube for a lot more than home repairs. We search for everything...how to potty train, … [Read more...]
9 Positive Parenting Alternatives to Time Outs & Grounding
The concept of positive parenting has many parents feeling baffled. There's no strict manual. No "if this, then that" list of appropriate consequences. Even parents who are on board with skipping time outs or grounding scratch their heads and ask, "What do I DO instead?" Positive parenting doesn't always call for us to "DO" … [Read more...]
It’s not your job to stop a tantrum, it’s your job not to have one
It happens in an instant. Your child is refusing to brush their teeth. Is begging for the newest video game. Or is picking on their sister (again). Then yelling begins -- complete with name calling, sarcasm, and eye-rolling. Except it's not your child. It's you. And you hate it. BONUS DOWNLOAD: 4 Steps to a Calm Response! You'd … [Read more...]
Maybe this is the question parents should be asking.
I was so upset. I didn't have a choice. The decision was made and it caught me off guard. Suddenly I was in fight-or-filght mode. I was angry! I texted a friend about the situation: "I didn't even have a say! This was decided for me...no one even asked how I felt about it!" She had nothing to do with it, but started trying to fix it, … [Read more...]
A simple visualization that will dramatically change the way you respond to your kids
It's a lazy Saturday. One of those rare weekends when you have nothing planned. Your kids have been parked in front of the TV all morning. It's a beautiful day, so you innocently announce, "Alright, guys! Time to turn the TV off and go outside!" Suddenly, they snap out of their zombie-like state and fire back at you: "WHAT!? … [Read more...]
Finding a glimmer of hope when your child struggles with self-regulation
I was digging through a random junk drawer when I finally found them. The colored pens I use to keep my schedule organized. I had been looking for them for days. I mentioned this casually to my kids, “Huh. Did you guys know these pens were in here?” My daughter responds defensively, “I didn’t do it!” I wasn’t really upset, so I brushed … [Read more...]