Battle lines are drawn. Your child is not giving up without a fight. As they dig in their heels, you feel pressured to stand your ground. Panic sets in, "If I lose this fight, he will never do anything I ask ever again!" You start to yell. Threaten. Punish. Anything to "show him who's boss." And yet, in the midst of all the chaos, … [Read more...]
10 Ways to Reduce Sibling Rivalry in Your Home
Your daughter crawls over and takes your son's toy car. He freaks out. Grabbing the car back from the baby. She starts to cry. You swoop in to intervene. Cradling her while you glare at your son, you say, "She's just a baby. She doesn't know better." Setting your daughter on the floor, you grab a few of his cars. Again he … [Read more...]
Looking at parenting through a wide-angle lens
Remember those nights, shuffling around the nursery trying to calm the shrill cries of your newborn? Or, jingling skittles in a jar to encourage your child to actually make it to the potty chair this time? When you're going through these stages it feels like life is standing still. Like you will never make it through. Sometimes you need a … [Read more...]
One critical observation to avoid your child’s next tantrum.
You know running errands takes it's toll on the kids, but it had to be done. Now, it's that awkward hour when it's too early to eat dinner and too late for a snack. The kids are restless and irritable. Tension is in the air. Then it hits you -- the ice cream shop. You will pass it in a few minutes and the kids ALWAYS beg to stop. Always. … [Read more...]
Setting Boundaries for your Attention-Seeking Child
It's Friday night. Your husband is out of town, so it's just you and the kids. Your suggestion to have a movie night is met with cheers and excitement. After the popcorn bowls are handed around, you start the show. Snuggling on the couch. Laughing through the funny parts, sniffling through the sad ones. The movie ends and you shuffle your … [Read more...]
Feeling Manipulated by your Child? Try this Response.
As soon as you say "no," the waterworks begin. "But mom!" your son says, dramatically flailing himself on the floor. After a few seconds, the drama turns ugly. Now he's pounding his fists on the tile and screaming wildly. It's just too much to bear. "Fine. Here's one more. That's it." you say, fuming. He sits up, … [Read more...]
To the exhausted parent: You’re not doing it wrong.
You close the door as hot tears stream down your face. Slumping to the floor, head in your hands, the scene replays in your mind. The power struggle. The yelling. The numerous attempts to interrupt the chaos with empathy and reasoning. Nothing worked. Where did things go wrong? What are you missing? Why is parenting so hard? You're … [Read more...]
The Day I Forgot How to Parent (And the Two Words that Brought Me Back)
Our words went back and forth like ping-pong balls. She said something rude. I replied with the same snippy tone. She tried to hit me and kick me. I just moved away and tried to ignore her. This is not how I usually parent. Somewhere along the line, I slipped back into the world of punishment, threats, and isolation. Positive … [Read more...]
Beyond “Settle Down”: Coping Skills for your Angry Child
It's been a walking-on-eggshells kind of day. "That's my decision," you say cautiously. "No more snacks before bed." You pause, waiting. And, just as expected, your child flies into a fit of rage. "That's not fair!" He yells, slamming his fist on the table. "I'm still hungry!" The yelling doesn't stop. "Settle down!" You yell … [Read more...]
Don’t Waste Another Consequence: Discipline Tips that Work
The goody bag is bulging with toys and candy. Your youngest child beams with pride as she displays her loot and gives you a minute-by-minute recap of the "My Little Pony" themed birthday party she just attended. Out of the blue, your son snatches the goody bag and says, "That party was for babies." "It was not!" your daughter defends, … [Read more...]