The call from the school came out of the blue. Your child pushed someone at recess. The other kid went to the nurse. Your child went to the principal's office. Furious, you scan through a list of possible consequences. Apparently, everything you've tried to teach about kindness was useless. Or, was it? What to do when your kids know … [Read more...]
10 Sharing Rules Every Sibling Should Know
“I feel like I need two of everything,” you lament to a friend as your kids argue in the living room. “It wouldn’t matter. Even if I had two of everything, they would still find something to fight over,” your friend replies. Sighing, you sip your coffee, close your eyes, and try to ignore the noise. What if you erased everything you’ve … [Read more...]
5 Parenting Beliefs that Interfere with Effective Discipline
You've read the parenting books. You've tried the latest discipline strategies. And...unfortunately, you're still dealing with the same old thing. Before you give up completely, let's take a look at a silent partner in your parenting: Your thoughts. Everyone carries around an unspoken understanding of why kids act the way they do. … [Read more...]
25 things that impact your child’s behavior (and have nothing to do with your parenting)
Years ago, I had the privilege of working with a family as their in-home family therapist. My goal was to help an 8-year-old girl learn to manage aggressive behaviors, decrease verbal outbursts, and improve the relationship with her parents. This was no easy task. Everyone on the team worked hard to find solutions, but unfortunately, we … [Read more...]
Helping Your Older Child Cope When Their Sibling Becomes Mobile
You've read the books. You bought the "I'm a big brother" t-shirt. You have a basket of fun activities for him to do while you're nursing. You're prepared to smooth the transition from singleton to sibling once you arrive home from the hospital. But, a few weeks in, you feel confused. Didn't the books say this was going to be a difficult … [Read more...]
A simple phrase to eliminate tattling.
"Mom! Sam won't turn off the water in the bathroom!" "Mom! Sarah took my iPod without asking...and now she won't give it back!" "Mom, Mom, MOM!" Like nails on a chalkboard, most parents have come to dread the sound of a child tattling. It seems so needy, so desperate. Why can't they just work it out on their own? Because it is. And … [Read more...]
The real reason you give your kids so many reminders.
Hello, I'm Nicole and I'm a repeater. Here's a classic example... It's a typical hectic Monday morning. Everyone is moving slow. I glance at the clock and compare the time to the number of things still left to accomplish. Then it begins. The repeating. "Don't forget your homework." "Did you put your homework in your bag?" "Is your … [Read more...]
3 Reasons You Need this Course (and 2 Reasons to Skip It)
Registration is open for the next "Communication for Imperfect Families" e-course! This course will help you end the backtalk, decrease the arguing, and eliminate the need to repeat things 1,000 times. Sounds good, right? Well, maybe it's not that simple. And that's ok. Let's see if this breakdown helps you decide if the course is … [Read more...]
A radically different way to respond when your child is aggressive.
The meticulously created Lego creation smashes against the wall and shatters into a hundred pieces. "That's enough!" You yell, hoping to diffuse the situation. He screams back, picking up another handful of Legos. "What has gotten into you? We don't throw toys in this house!" Your response only seems to fuel the fire. Trying a … [Read more...]
9 Positive Parenting Alternatives to Time Outs & Grounding
The concept of positive parenting has many parents feeling baffled. There's no strict manual. No "if this, then that" list of appropriate consequences. Even parents who are on board with skipping time outs or grounding scratch their heads and ask, "What do I DO instead?" Positive parenting doesn't always call for us to "DO" … [Read more...]
