Years ago, I huddled around a kitchen table with two frazzled, exhausted parents and their three kids. The notebook page in front of us listed 20 undesirable behaviors on one side and corresponding consequences on the other. On a separate piece of paper, we created a range of rewards - small trinkets to large family outings. It was an … [Read more...]
The gift your teenager needs, but will never request
When I was young, we had one main phone. Connected to the wall with a super long cord. The cord could stretch to the basement stairs, the only place you could talk in “private.” If someone was on the phone, you had two options. Wait. Or pick up another extension and say, “hurry up!” to whoever was talking. School day gossip traveled slowly. … [Read more...]
7 Things a Parent of an Intense Child Wants You to Know
The slamming doors. The random meltdowns. The screaming for hours. This is not the stuff you post on social media. Living with a child who struggles with aggression, anxiety, sensitivity, or impulsivity can be physically and mentally exhausting for everyone involved. There are no easy solutions. No quick fixes. The good days are good. … [Read more...]
How to respond in “non-negotiable” parenting situations
It’s time for my daughter to go to bed. It’s late. I’m tired. She’s tired. But of course, she’s also not completely on board with the “going to bed” plan. As a 3-year-old, she has definitely become more independent. Things she used to do without a second thought are now battles. She pushes each and every boundary. Which leaves me … [Read more...]
Teaching Kids Be Mindful About Their Needs
We're heading home from the science museum. It's been a busy morning. We observed, investigated, played, and learned for hours. It was also loud, crowded, and involved tons of walking. "When we get home, we're going to have some quiet time," I say, hoping this will counteract the effects of overstimulation. Rather than a cheerful "OK mom!" … [Read more...]
Permission to be the parent your child needs
Grab a cup of coffee, let’s chat. Listen, there are a million (billion, trillion?) parenting articles and books out there. Some are fantastic, while others pile on the guilt and flame your anxiety. It's easy to get caught up in the "Should's" and "Should not's" of parenting. But here's the bottom line: You are the expert on your child. … [Read more...]
Finding Clarity When You’re Baffled By Your Child’s Behavior
Oatmeal. That’s what started it. You added raisins instead of blueberries and she was off like a rocket. All attempts to diffuse the meltdown were useless. It’s calm now (though you feel like you were run over by a truck). Taking some deep breaths you wonder… What just happened here? Feeling Stuck Unfortunately, this was only one … [Read more...]
Empathy didn’t work. What do I do now?
"You seem pretty upset about my decision.” His eyes glare at you. Moving in to provide comfort, he swats you away yelling, “leave me alone!” You’re confused, hurt, and getting more upset by the minute. We’re told that empathy is the best response. The “magic bullet” of parenting techniques. Well...it’s not working. So, … [Read more...]
9 Parenting Truths That Apply To All Children
Parenting advice can get a little murky. If you Google your specific parenting problem, there’s a chance that you’ll find more than one answer. And, there’s a good chance that those answers will slightly (or completely) contradict. Instead of zooming in and searching for the “one” right solution. Let’s look at parenting from a more general … [Read more...]
“Crunch Time” Discipline: Getting Your Kids Out the Door in the Morning
Balancing three lunch boxes, a purse, and a cup of coffee, you yell up the stairs, “IT’S TIME TO GO!” Slow, sluggish feet shuffle into the room. “Come on,” you urge. “Shoes. Backpacks!” Your anxiety rises as you glance at the clock. You cannot be late again today. “Get moving guys!” One child can’t find his shoe. The other is … [Read more...]
