Oatmeal. That’s what started it. You added raisins instead of blueberries and she was off like a rocket. All attempts to diffuse the meltdown were useless. It’s calm now (though you feel like you were run over by a truck). Taking some deep breaths you wonder… What just happened here? Feeling Stuck Unfortunately, this was only one … [Read more...]
Empathy didn’t work. What do I do now?
"You seem pretty upset about my decision.” His eyes glare at you. Moving in to provide comfort, he swats you away yelling, “leave me alone!” You’re confused, hurt, and getting more upset by the minute. We’re told that empathy is the best response. The “magic bullet” of parenting techniques. Well...it’s not working. So, … [Read more...]
10 Things Every Child Needs to Know About Thoughts and Feelings
Your daughter slams her backpack on the table and rustles through the fridge for a snack. You know something's not right, but when you ask, she responds with, "Nothing." Ugh. Why can't she just tell you what's going on? Unfortunately, thoughts and feelings can be complicated. They can leave your child feeling confused and overwhelmed. … [Read more...]
How to Be a Confident Parent Without Yelling at Your Kids
What do the neighbors think? If they only knew the begging, pleading, and negotiating that goes on in your home. Maybe they'd understand why yelling is the ONLY way your kids do what you ask. You've tried being the "nice mom" who doesn't yell, and no matter how hard you tried, it never worked. The only way to get your kids' attention is by … [Read more...]
5 hidden messages in your intense child’s words (and how to respond)
The kicking on the back of your seat is getting more intense. “That’s enough!” you say, glancing at the grimacing face in the back seat. “You can’t make me!” she responds, kicking harder now. Your muscles tense. You hold your breath. You want to scream, “Oh, I can too make you stop. Don’t tempt me.” But you don’t. You know it will only … [Read more...]
A simple phrase to eliminate tattling.
"Mom! Sam won't turn off the water in the bathroom!" "Mom! Sarah took my iPod without asking...and now she won't give it back!" "Mom, Mom, MOM!" Like nails on a chalkboard, most parents have come to dread the sound of a child tattling. It seems so needy, so desperate. Why can't they just work it out on their own? Because it is. And … [Read more...]
What anxious and angry kids need to know about their brain
"Settle down," you say above the screaming. It sounds more like a threat than a caring suggestion. "I don't know how!" your child jeers back. You shake your head, sighing. How many times do you need to remind her to take a deep breath when she's upset? Obviously, something's missing here. Big Feelings. Big Confusion. Big feelings like … [Read more...]
9 Positive Parenting Alternatives to Time Outs & Grounding
The concept of positive parenting has many parents feeling baffled. There's no strict manual. No "if this, then that" list of appropriate consequences. Even parents who are on board with skipping time outs or grounding scratch their heads and ask, "What do I DO instead?" Positive parenting doesn't always call for us to "DO" … [Read more...]
Maybe this is the question parents should be asking.
I was so upset. I didn't have a choice. The decision was made and it caught me off guard. Suddenly, I was in fight-or-filght mode. I was angry! I turned to my husband and said, "I didn't even have a say! This was decided for me...no one even asked how I felt about it!" He had nothing to do with it, but started trying to fix it … [Read more...]
A simple visualization that will dramatically change the way you respond to your kids
It's a lazy Saturday. One of those rare weekends when you have nothing planned. Your kids have been parked in front of the TV all morning. It's a beautiful day, so you innocently announce, "Alright, guys! Time to turn the TV off and go outside!" Suddenly, they snap out of their zombie-like state and fire back at you: "WHAT!? … [Read more...]
